The Life of a New Wife

Two days for the read of one

2009-11-12T19:01:00.002-05:00

I'm behind an update from yesterday so here's the catchup:

Yesterday's Weight: 227.0 lbs. (-3 lbs.)

What I ate yesterday:

Breakfast - Egg, fat free cheese & Canadian bacon wrap
Snack - Yogurt & granola
Lunch - Zone protein bar & Green apple
Snack - red pepper slices & cheese string
Supper - 12 Garlic Shrimps (no butter or fat) with steamed veggie medley
Snack - 2 pickles

Workout: Took the evening off since everything hurt

-----------------------------------
Weight Today: 226.5 lbs. (-3.5 lbs.)

What I ate today:
Breakfast - yogurt, berries, oats & almond parfait
Snack - Low fat string cheese & 2 clementines
Lunch - Zone protein bar + green apple
Snack - 1% cottage cheese cup & 2 organic full size carrots
Supper - Lemon Herb 1/2 chicken breast + 1/4 cup low fat cheese & lettuce in a wrap & steamed veggie medley
Snack -

Workout: 20 minutes treadmill run/walk + strength training arms

I'm really happy about how the eating has been going. I don't have to think about it every waking minute of the day. Only for 10 minutes in the morning when I throw the day's food in a lunchbag and dash out the door. I'll probably have to buy more snack and breakfast options for next week. But for now I'm still pleased with what I bought for the new eating plan. J is being so motivating and is even liking snacking on healthy food. I just hope I don't get sick, it seems people are falling like flies at work from the colds and flus going around. I was sure I was hit with it today, but so far so good. I've got a new trick for crushing my cravings for snacking when I walk in the door at home - I grab a coffee on the way home. It numbs my hunger until supper is ready and it gives me a little kick to get through the end of day slump. Well time to get ready for the workout! I wonder if anyone is reading or following any of this...can't wait to get my first comment or follower. *bats eyelashes* ;)

Everything I know about weight loss.

2009-11-10T21:08:00.002-05:00

I've already entered a post for this evening but I've been jumping from weight-loss blog to weight-loss blog in the last couple of days and have been reading about the frustrations some people are going through with regards to their weight loss. I am NOT a practice what you preach 24/7 person so I can't blame them - but I can share what I've learned in the last few years which I know to work and I know to be true because when I follow this knowledge it WORKS.

Meals
You should be eating 5-6 small meals a day. By small we're not talking a cracker and a baby carrot here - we're talking probably fits in your two hands cupped together or one palm spread wide open. They should be: Breakfast, 2-3 snacks, Lunch, and Supper, and they should be consumed every 2 hours. You shouldn't wait to be hungry, because your body i.e. your metabolism is like a wood stove; you have to keep slowly putting wood in the stove to keep the fire even and burning. If you shove four logs at once the fire will get too hot and will get out of control. If you put a little stick in every 4 hours the fire will burn out and you'll have a hard time re-lighting it.

Carbs
Despite the brainwashing on tv and in magazines carbs are not the enemy. No food is actually the enemy, just quantities of certain foods are bad. As much as possible you want to trade all simple carbs for complex carbs and whole grain carbs. So anything refined isn't good for you because it will make your blood sugar spike when you eat it and crash hard later on. In other words, you eat two pieces of white toast with butter and jam (all sugar, fat and carbs basically) and you'll feel either hyper or get a flushed face soon after you eat it and you'll want to take a nap not long after. Not to mention that you'll be hungry again very soon because processed carbs digest really fast. Some to avoid are: white rice, white flour, white bread, white pasta..you get the picture. Trade those in for whole grain or whole wheat versions, but still cut the portions in half. In a typical meal like lunch or supper a serving of brown rice would be about 1/2 cup. Some simple carbs are found in nature like many fruits such as grapes, apples, peaches, etc. But they have great fibre and vitamins that are important for your wellbeing. Fruit is great, but it has calories too and sugar is sugar so eat it in moderation and before noon if possible. The best time of day to eat any carbs is before noon. Some really great carbs to include in your meals are: natural oatmeal, whole grain bread (1 slice at a time), whole wheat pasta (1/2 cup portion!), and wild or brown rice.

Protein
It's not all about chicken breast! Protein is so important for building muscles - no I'm not talking about bulking up like body builders - I'm talking about lean sexy bodies, the kind we all aspire to have. You want lean proteins in your meals. Many are found in meats such as: chicken breast, extra-lean ground beef, ground turkey, tuna, salmon, and white fish. But there are other terrific sources for protein, just have to keep an eye out for low-fat versions of these: cottage cheese, ricotta cheese, almonds, edamame (or soy beans), egg whites, protein isolate powder and milk. I'll explain later on why building muscles is so so important for weight loss. You need to include a lean protein source in every meal including snacks. If you're having grapes and crackers - where is the protein?? A good morning snack would be a 1/2 cup low fat cottage cheese and two clementines. That combines carbs and protein - and the mix of the two will keep you feeling fuller longer because that's what protein does. It takes a longer time to get digested than carbs so you're not starting twenty minutes after you eat.

Vegetables
You simply can't go wrong with vegetables. Eat as many as you want, any kind - seriously! The better ones are the dark green veggies, but make your plate as colourful as you wish! Just make sure your veggies are either microwaved, steamed, boiled or grilled. Boiling is the least favorite cooking method as it takes away a lot of the great vitamins, but as long as you aren't adding sauces, butter, or any kind of fat to the vegetables you can eat them until you're stuffed! Most of them have great fiber contents - just watch out for hidden natural fats such as in avocados.

Cardio
If you want to lose weight and lose fat, then cardio is absolutely necessary in my opinion. The way cardio works is that you are doing an activity which requires extra calories to be burned, therefore you're creating a deficit in a certain amount of calories. It only works for as long as you keep doing cardio day in and day out - but that's ok if you're trying to drop weight. Just remember that if you reach your goal weight and decide to stop doing cardio (which you shouldn't because it's great for your overall health..but I'm realistic) then you must cut out the same amount of calories from your meals to make sure you don't gain back the weight. As I said above, cardio only works for as long as you keep doing it. For cardio to be effective you have to do a minimum of 15-20 minutes of it. Of course if you've never done any kind of cardio or physical activity check with your doctor first for the intensity and duration you should be doing. But there are many kinds of cardio activities you can do: speed walking, biking, running, and working out on cardio gym equipment. Equipment, especially stationary bikes are my least favorite and I'll tell you why: they make you and your muscles LAZY! Think about it, how efficient a workout can you be getting if you're sitting on your butt?? Any exercise that requires you to sit down isn't really working you efficiently. You're always better off doing cardio standing up.

Strength Training
Don't think you're going to bulk up ladies. It's just not possible to be as bulky and ripped as a man without taking male hormones. We're just not designed to look like that. So don't worry about it - I don't care how heavy you are, or what bodyshape you are, you're ok trust me - you won't end up looking like Arnold! It's very very very important to include strength training i.e. weights in your workout program and here's why: as you read above cardio only works as long as you do it, well when you strength train you build muscle and muscle needs calories to survive. Muscle keeps burning calories even while you sleep, cardio..ehhh well not so good while you're sleeping. So incorporating strength training three to four times a week will help boost your metabolism (which means you'll burn more calories!). It's all about calories in versus calories out in the weight loss game people, it's not rocket science. With strength training you can't train the same muscle group two days in a row, you need to alternate with usually 1-2 days between doing the same muscle group again. Abs however are the only muscle group you can train every day. Be sure to stretch your muscles well before and after all workouts to avoid injury. A little tip I can give you when you're starting out - you know you've worked your muscles hard enough when they hurt a little the next day, and really hurt two days later. If you don't feel anything you need to push harder, hold the pose longer, or work with heavier weights plain and simple.

Water
You know this one so I won't spend precious time telling you all the benefits of drinking enough water. But water flushes out fat - so drink a lot! Always carry a bottle of water around with you, and get in the habit of drinking it! 8-10 glasses a day...don't forget.

Sleep
You wouldn't think sleep is important in order to lose weight, but I've read studies that when our bodies are stressed and sleep deprived we release certain chemicals that make us hang on to fat. Not so great is it? Also, when you're training you'll need the energy to really hit your workout hard, and it's only during sleep that your muscles repair themselves. That's how they grow..you train your muscle and create tiny microscopic tears in it and during rest your muscle uses the protein (essentially animal or natural muscle) to repair the tiny tears which then makes it grow stronger. You should be sleeping around 8 hours every night, do what you have to in order to get the rest you need!

Conclusion
That's what I know to be true and to work. I'll tell you the ten million dollar secret the diet industry doesn't want you to know: it only works if you do it. Nothing and no one can do it for you. All those workout dvd's you have collecting dust because you think they don't work? They do! If you do them every day, and eat the way I recommended above, you'll see results. But if you stop doing them four days in, then no they won't work. I've had ups and downs many many times in my life. But I do know that I have no one else to blame for my downfalls or to thank for my sucesses than myself. Be your motivation, love yourself. Forgive yourself for the past eating habits and non-workout moments. It's ok, you're human, so am I, so is everyone. Good luck, you can do it!

That little voice just kicked my butt!

2009-11-10T20:11:00.002-05:00

Weight: 227.5 lbs. (-2.5 lbs.)

What I ate today:
Breakfast - yogurt, mango, banana, oats & almond parfait
Snack - Low fat string cheese & 2 clementines
Lunch - Ham, low fat cheese, mustard & lettuce on tortilla wrap
Snack - 1% cottage cheese cup & 2 organic full size carrots
Supper - fajitas: precooked chicken breast, raw peppers, salsa ,low fat cheese& lettuce on tortilla
Snack - 1 dried apricot + crystal light peach ice tea (yummm!)

Workout: 30 minutes of improv aerobics with weights & 5 minutes of speed walking on treadmill

Foodwise the day was good, no slipups. Knew I had to workout tonight, but wasn't sure what I was in the mood for. Wasn't so into the tread, and did a workout video last night. I wanted something fun - so I did what I used to LOVE to do back when I lost my initial 30lbs: Improv Aerobics! You're probably sitting there with a confused look on your face..well let me explain. I used to go dancing at after hours clubs and loved it and well when I started working out back when I lost that weight I would randomly invent aerobic moves and mix in some of my dance moves from when I was clubbing. It was pretty much the same music I'd dance to in the clubs, which I loved so it made working out a lot of fun.

So it's basically the standard step aerobic moves, and throw in dance moves, and some kicks and punches. I even go nuts and do punches with 3-5lb. dumbells..that really gets the muscles pumping let me tell you! I highly recommend it. Just make sure you do a good warm up and as soon as you get fatigued doing one movement switch to another to work another group of muscles and come back to the original one when you feel you can. The key for me is having music playing that I can't sit still to. Here are some of my alltime favorite cardio songs:

Fight Club - Spread Love (Benny Benassi remix)
Andrea Doria - Bucci Bag
Felix Da Housecat - Silver Screen Shower Scene
Da Hool - Meet Her At The Love Parade
Pussycat Dolls - When I Grow Up
Britney Spears - Womanizer

So about that little voice. That crazy little voice that used to betray me and tell me to go get another of whatever I was eating. Or remind me there was chocolate in the office kitchen..well this nutty little voice decided to challenge me to hit the treadmill after I had worked my ass off during the improv aerobics. I was sweating so much it was dripping in my eyes..you get the picture. But alas that little voice wanted more, she challenged me to put the music back on and see how long I could last on the treadmill. Needless to say it wasn't very long because I tried to speed walk to house music...fast house music. I burnt myself out after 5 minutes. But I just couldn't get over how the very thing that used to be my demise was now challenging me to suceed. Weird, but I am not one to look a gift voice in the mouth, heh.

Great words of advice

2009-11-10T06:54:00.003-05:00

I'm currently waking up slowly as they say, with a cup of coffee and a google search for fellow weight-loss bloggers. Cause I figure the best way to stay motivated is to offer up some motivation to others, right? Well I came across this blog "Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit" - aside from the hilarious about me page which I recommend you read for a good giggle, his post from yesterday was a great way to start today. Here's a little snippet:

"You’ve got 86,400 seconds to work with and I’d like to encourage you to spend at least a few thousand of them working to make this weight-loss journey you’re on a success.

Yesterday may not have been your best day, but yesterday is dead and gone. Yesterday’s a fading memory, a train that’s long since left the station, a house that’s been boarded up and abandoned." Read whole post here

On a side note, yesterday's butt kicking workout did indeed kick my tush as I suspected. Muscle aches are starting to happen, which I'm kinda happy about. Means I worked like I should. Tomorrow will be killer though - it's always worse the second day after strength training. Will have to plan some yoga in there to get me through. But hey good news - as of this morning I'm at 227.5 - better to be going down than up! Well off to work, see you guys later!

Where'd that motivation come from?

2009-11-09T20:33:00.005-05:00

Weight: 228lbs. (-2lbs.)

What I ate today:
Breakfast - yogurt, berries, oats & almond parfait
Snack - 1% cottage cheese cup & green grapes
Lunch - Leftover Beef & Veg Stirfry
Snack - 4 slices deli ham & green apple
Supper - yogurt, berries, oats & almond parfait
Snack - Zone protein bar

Workout: Women's Health: Ultimate Fat Burn video

Today was a usual Monday, and I came home very tired and even began to wonder if I could already be falling off the proverbial wagon of working out. At least I had eaten well today, but really didn't think I could match yesterday's nearly 2k run/walk on the treadmill that left me with sore lungs and coughing. I'm not sure what happened exactly that changed my mind. I was daydreaming about joining the local women only gym near my work - I even called for pricing. Then I suddenly found myself getting changed into my workout clothes and looking for my workout video.

That video is quite a kick in the arse! I really did give it all I could, but finished with maybe 5 minutes left. Just couldn't go anymore. But I did get through all the strength training and 1 and 3/4 of the cardio segments. I was *dripping* when I finished. I secretly love that part, looking at the sweat drip off my face and giving myself the "f*c* YA!" look in the mirror. Guess it's not a secret anymore.

My supper wasn't exactly gourmet but I was in the mood for an indulgence - something sweet and creamy. Since there is no icecream in this household I went for the delicious yogurt parfait I had for breakfast which left me wanting more. I love that parfait, it's so delectable and very satisfying. Here's the "recipe":

Yogurt, berry & homemade granola parfait

Mix 1 individual Activia vanilla yogurt cup with 1/2 cup berries (frozen or fresh) and 1/4 cup homemade granola. Enjoy - sooo easy, and sooo good! You can use the fat free Activia or any non-fat yogurt to cut even more fat, but the regular Activia is so creamy! Great alternative for the berries is 1/2 banana with chopped mango (frozen is terrific, I hate cutting up mango).

Homemade low-fat granola:
Preheat oven to 350
2 cups slow cook oats
few dashes of cinnamon & nutmeg
3/4 cups sliced almonds
2 tsp. vanilla extract

Mix in a bowl, then spread mixture on a baking sheet in a single layer. Give a few spritzes of baking spray like Pam over to help granola brown. Put in oven about 5-8 minutes but keep an eye on it. Remove when almonds and granola have browned slightly. Let cool then store in an airtight container in the fridge.

Setting my goal

2009-11-09T19:59:00.007-05:00

It's always good to set a goal in order to have something to aim for. And so I'm setting my goal weight at 170lbs. That's what I weighed when I met J back in 2006. I had lost aprox. 30lbs. just before I met him and felt totally amazing. It was the lowest I had weighed throughout my adult life. I'm 5'9" so 170lbs. is by far a healthy weight and I should probably even try to go a bit lower once I reach that goal. But you have to start with something attainable I believe. I know I can do it because I've done it before.

Not to blame my husband for my weight gain because I was and am the only person responsible for my health, but I put on 30lbs. He's a fan of eating out and ordering in. In the first year we were dating and since our wedding in April I've somehow managed to add on another 30lbs. I've heard of the freshman-15..but the newlywed-30?? It's not rocket science..I didn't workout and I ate a lot of cookies, cakes, bread, butter, cream, and chocolate: recipe for disaster.

Here I am in 2006 just around the time I met J:

[Above: I was so bony..but healthy! Is it possible even my nose was skinnier?? I was wearing a very sexy size 12 during the time above, and look at how thin my arms were! Awesome.]

And more recent photos of our wedding in April 2009:

[Above: I was so happy on our wedding day, but realized after that my grecian dress was far from flattering. It made me look huge! Okay it is a size 16, but wow. I got a real shock when I saw these photos, and now I'm even 30lbs. heavier!]

But enough bellyaching (pardon the pun), it's time for action! So, the plan is to document and journal my weight loss and my effort in this blog. If you're also in the midst of a weight-loss journey, well hop on board and add comments, I looove feedback. :)

Guilty Wish: Realized!

2009-07-03T21:54:00.002-04:00

A little while ago I was expressing a wish or maybe more of an imaginary dream of hiring a cleaning lady. Well, since then we've actually done it! A few days after the wedding reception, once we started getting back into the regular routine of life we realized that we had really had our hands full with the reception planning. As a result our places was a royal mess. My husband finally convinced me to let him hire some help. So during a day I had off from work we called in a cleaning lady to give the place a good scrub down while I catch up on dishes and laundry and some organizing.

So great, she's coming back!

She did a great job and my husband has even agreed to hire her to do a deep cleaning once a month from now on. Not because I wasn't efficient enough at keeping our home clean, but because I have enough to do with work and cooking and basic laundry and dishes. It's a modern step forward that I think several working women will have to learn to accept.

Waking up in heaven

The morning after the cleaning lady had come by I awoke to a spotless paradise! I was utterly happy and relaxed. My husband even seems to pick up after himself a bit more, possibly because he's paying to keep the place clean now. Whatever reason, it's working - and totally resolving the "pick up after yourself" conflict!

The Joy of Slipcovers

2009-05-15T07:10:00.003-04:00

With a long weekend on the horizon, I've decided to go into deep cleaning mode and one of my goals is to wash all the slipcovers. In our home we have two Ikea sofas, and both have pure white slipcovers. As you can imagine, we have no kids but we do have guests who spill red wine, have dirty hands, and even we are guilty of sometimes dropping the occasional chocolate crumbs on the cushions. All resulting in due time for a good scrub.

What a wonderful thing

The great thing about slipcovers is the non-commitment. Personally I'm terrible at choosing colours, so with slipcovers I can rest assured that if I change my mind down the road or repaint a room, we won't need to buy new furniture. Also I see slipcovered furniture as a good investment for a young couple who forsee adding kids to the equation. Clearly we'll have to forgo the white slipcovers when baby makes three, and switch to a kid friendly pattern.

One of the most astonishing things to me is that of all the slipcovers Ikea sells, the pure white one that we have is the cheapest!? Which is terrific since a major red wine spillage can necessitate a total change of slipcover.

There are alternatives

If however, the limited colour palette of Ikea's slipcovers makes you hum and haw, check out Bems.com makers of a variety of custom guaranteed to fit slipcovers for Ikea seats, chairs and sofas. They have a great variety of colours and fabrics that can match any room.

Guilty Wish: Hire a Cleaning Lady

2009-05-14T06:51:00.005-04:00

Throughout the last year that my husband and I have been living together and the almost three years we've been together before we were married the one topic that still isn't quite perfected is the housework. I'm sure this is the case in many a modern day home where both people work full time jobs. We tried different methods in the past such as planning a cleaning schedule, and it worked for a day or two and end of the day fatigue or a movie on TV would take precedence over the plan. I even gave up at one point and nominated myself the "domestic maintenance representative" and charged my husband one hundred dollars a week to everything from dishes to laundry to cleaning. That was probably the longest running trial of them, however after about four months of doing it all on my own and being exhausted I retired my title and went back to going dutch on the chores.

As it stands now I still dictate what has to be done and try to distribute about three to four weekly tasks to him including bringing out the trash and the recycling twice a week. It usually takes a few days but ninety five percent of the time he gets around to it eventually.

Dare I consider it?

After hearing this week that two of my colleagues (both men of course) regularly employ cleaning ladies to take care of the bi-weekly deep clean of their places I started toy with the idea of it myself. I was raised in a 'roll up your sleeves and do it yourself' kind of family. We didn't hire people to do things for us, we didn't even go to restaurants - you get the idea. So even considering the idea of a cleaning lady is very foreign to me, and if my mother found out she'd probably be slightly shocked, and maybe even a little jealous I suspect.

A stranger alone in my home?

Everyone I've ever spoken to assured me that it's perfectly safe. I guess it depends on the person. I make up scenarios in my mind where I'm actually at home while she's cleaning; I'm usually on my computer working while she's taking care of the boring regular cleaning. According to Ruthie Appleby on Twittermoms.com she prefers to join in part of the job:

"..I used to work right along with my girl... and if we got done early I'd still pay her and have coffee etc...with her. I would ask her to come for 4-5 hours each week. We had lots of fun -- I think the key is finding someone you personally enjoy be their equal and have fun together then you not only have your house cleaned but you look forward to it working with a buddy- but that was me :) I just needed a helping hand I still wanted to clean.."

Cleanliness is next to..HAPPY!

As I was driving to work this morning, I scowled at the dust on my dashboard and my next natural thought was "I'm due for a visit to the car wash!". And then I stopped and asked myself, "Why do I bring my car to the car wash when I could technically clean it myself?" to which I logically answered "Because it's a big job and would take me forever to do myself". And then I suddenly felt less guilty about the idea of a cleaning lady..because logically cleaning our four bedroom apartment is one heck of 'big job' and it does take me forever when I do it on my own - actually I VERY rarely get through the entire job in one day. Maybe this guilty wish just might become a reality after all.

Busy Wife Supper: Santa Fe Chicken

2009-05-13T06:59:00.000-04:00

I made this on an evening when I was literally running through the door to make supper. It's quick and easy but really tastes great. My slight variation is that I used cooked rice that I had leftover from the night before, and of course I added a lot more cheese over everything. The hubby approved this one!

From: KraftCanada.com
Prep Time: 10 mins
Total Time: 55 mins
Serves: 4

Ingredients:

1-1/2 cups instant white rice, uncooked
1 can (540 mL/19 fl oz) black beans, drained, rinsed
1 medium yellow pepper, chopped
1 can (284 mL/10 fl oz) condensed cream of chicken soup
1 soup can water
1/4 cup chopped cilantro
4 small boneless skinless chicken breasts (about 1 lb.)
1/2 cup salsa
2 cups KRAFT Tex Mex Shredded Cheese

Directions:

PREHEAT oven to 400°F. Mix rice, beans and peppers in 13x9-inch baking dish; set aside. Combine soup, water and cilantro; pour evenly over rice mixture.

TOP with chicken. Spoon 2 Tbsp. of the salsa over each chicken breast.

BAKE 35 min.; sprinkle with cheese. Continue baking 10 min. or until cheese is melted.

Pick your battles: Family get togethers

2009-05-12T18:56:00.004-04:00

In the early stages of our relationship, my husband (then boyfriend) and I used to get into nasty little spats when it came time to go out to family get togethers. I'm quite close with my family, and we generally gather for everything from mother's day to anniversaries, birthdays and Christmas. My husband's family gets together every once in a while, and not necessarily on the exact day of the occasion. He truly values his free time and weekends to relax and unwind, however I have always seen weekends as a valuable 'get things done' period of the week. So naturally our two ways of seeing didn't really jive and he would get really cranky about having his weekend interrupted by constant events going on in my family, and I was upset about having a grumpy boyfriend hating me for dragging him to things he didn't always want to go to.

The light bulb moment

That's when it occurred to me that we were both miserable in these circumstances and even though he was only going to make me happy, I still wasn't because he was miserable. So I decided to see what happened if he didn't always come to every single event. I started telling him about what we were invited to together, and asked him if he wanted to go or not. The first three or four times (as I expected) he stayed home. I forced myself to not make a big deal about it, and to just go ahead and to have fun. Eventually I didn't even really mind, because I was happier to go on my own and come back home to a happy boyfriend rather than a miserable one that would dissapear to his man cave.

The happy medium

The funny thing is that after a few events he stayed home from, he started suddenly wanting to come along. Call it reverse psychology if you want, but it seemed that because he now wasn't expected or forced to attend, he didn't mind it as much. I learned even before becoming a married couple that just because we are together and live together, doesn't mean we have to do everything together. I hadn't understood until then that the 'keep your own lives' alive I had heard about relationships also applied to events and attendance.

Planning a wedding reception

2009-05-11T18:20:00.014-04:00

A reception over a month after the wedding?

As you’ve read in the ‘About Me’ section you know that my husband and I were married not long ago at a destination wedding. We decided together to go about getting married this way simply because we wanted to be married in a romantic and unforgettable way but couldn’t imagine starting our life together with a gigantic mound of debt. The only drawback is that our decision on the destination wedding was done so quickly, that our families didn't have enough time to make arrangements to attend.

And so, we've decided to have a little reception party for our family and friends to show them the wedding video and have a little scaled down celebration that won't break the bank. At the present time I am in the midst of planning this event and thought that it would be great to track the process for those of you who are intimidated by event planning.

It's really just a question of being organized!

First thing is to get yourself a spiral bound notebook. Preferably pick a size that fits in your purse so you can always have it on hand if you find yourself in a store and need to jot down prices, or if you get a great idea.

Next write down the most important elements of what you want to have or happen at your reception. This is the time to really go into fantasy mode, not time for common sense (yet, that comes later). You'll appreciate this later on when you have your penny pincher glasses on reviewing the non-necessities, you'll have to find creative and inexpensive ways to keep the things that are important to you in the plan.

The all important list

Next is a pretty basic list of elements we needed to have covered. Keep in mind we already had our big hurrah with the wedding and our budget for this even was pretty conservative.

-Location
-DJ
-Food
-Alcohol
-Decor
-Favors
-Invitations
-Cake
-Liquor License (mandatory in Quebec)
-Rentals (table cloths, stemware, industrial sized coffee maker, etc)

Pick a theme, any theme!

Before you can begin shopping for any decorations, designing your invitations or even dreaming of that wedding cake you need to decide on either a theme or a colour palette. I say either or, because usually a theme will dictate your colours, yet if you choose a colour palette you can pretty much include any element as long as it's the right colour. In our example I struggled to decide between a beach theme or a yellow palette. The two don't really work together, so I had to finally commit and I decided to go with the yellows. It was far more flexible both decoratively and budget wise.

Where, When, and Whom?

The hall that we found that fit our budget had a fire code of 50 people max. So that pretty much set the limit for us with regards to invitations. Luckily neither of us are from very large families, however we had to do some serious negotiating when we had to decide who's friends to invite. But even before you can invite anyone you need to set a date for this shindig.

You'll need to find out first of all what dates are available for the two biggest costs of this event: the location (hall) and the dj. Don't think you need to have your reception in a pricey formal hall. With a little imagination you can decorate any venue into the perfect reception party area. See if your city has any community centers that can be rented for an evening, you're bound to save some serious cash. But be sure to ask if you book a hall or community center if the liquor license is required and included in the price. We had to go the embarrassing route of changing the date because we learned after sending the invitations that the liquor license had to be filed for 15 days prior to the event. So do your homework!

Sending the invitations

As mentioned above we had to move the date because the first date wasn't that far off. If time isn't on your side with regards to mailing your invitations you can always go the modern route and email them. If you're even a little bit handy with Photoshop, you can design some personalized and unique invitations. Otherwise, sites like Evite are great for sending invitations and keeping track of RSVP's. If you do decide to go the email route, I recommend using a web-based email account so that no matter where you are, you can keep track of who's coming and questions guests might have.

What shall we eat?

The next element that will strain your budget is the food and drinks. This is where you really have to make decisions on the grandeur of the occasion. We went for a low budget and casual cold buffet option. Great homemade food mind you, but no fancy white gloved servers needed - saves big bucks. If you're going DIY on the meal, take a minute to think about whether the event takes place indoors or outdoors and the average temperature of the venue. This will help you decide on how finicky the dishes you serve can be. Do you have sufficient fridge space at home until you bring your dishes to the event, and once you're there do they have refrigerated storage room?

Regarding the cake we went the route of having one made. It's my small indulgence in the budget, and I think it's a nice decor touch to the room as well. I thought of making it myself but with already so much going on, I couldn't see myself fumbling with fondant at midnight the night before the big event.

As for drinks we decided on serving wine and beer, and found a great 'bottle your own wine' place that helps keep the price reasonable and the beer we're buying in bulk cases of bottles at Costco. However should you go the route of buying alcohol in bulk, try to avoid getting large lose quantities of wine or drink. If ever (and yes it happens) that you have leftover wine or beer, if they are in boxes or kegs your leftovers will go to waste. If you buy everything in individual bottles they keep around a lot longer afterwards.

Do I really need wedding favors?

Truthfully, I don't still have a single wedding favor from a single wedding I've ever been to, and this is the case for most people. They either end up in a junk drawer somewhere or thrown away. So please don't spend a fortune on wedding favors. They are simply a little thank you to your guests for attending your party. It's the thought that counts, and people will be impressed with originality rather than price as far as favors go. If you've chosen a theme this is a great way to continue on the theme through the favors.

The same can be true for a colour palette which is what I did. I used miniature glass mason jars filled with scotch mints tied with a yellow satin ribbon and then printed out personalized labels. Don't under estimate the amazing DIY projects you can create for wedding favors, allowing of course that you have the time to put them together. But hey, that's what fiancés or husbands are for, right?

Last but not least, money!

Ah yes, one of the most important parts of any good event planning. Be sure that before you get too carried away in ordering cakes, and planning menus that you and your fiancé or husband have sat down and established not only how much you can afford, but how much you're willing to spend on a wedding reception. Revise where you're at about half way through your planning process to see where you stand with regards to the original budget. Will you need to scale down some of the dreams your originally had for this event? Better to be safe than broke!

Don't make the mistake that many women seem to make in thinking this has to be the end all be all of parties. You'll have a multitude of parties, dinner parties, birthdays and celebrations to plan and throw in your future together. A huge lavish reception does not a good marriage make. However, DO enjoy this process and try to not get too stressed out throught this process. Moms, sisters, cousins, MIL's all love wedding stuff (usually) and would probably love to help you in any way they can. So don't hesitate to ask for some help if you're feeling overwhelmed.